Frequently asked questions
Who can benefit from Tikkun HaBriet?
Any couples seeking enrichment, nurturing or healing for their marriage.
Couples who have hit a rough patch or find they are not growing closer over time.
Many couples have experienced challenging issues such as infidelity, addiction recovery, long-term illness, blended family/parenting challenges, long distance relationships, in-law/family issues, financial hardship, or may have simply grown apart from each other due to outside interests and commimtments.
Many couples are facing the challenges of being newly married, while others may have been married for many years.
A willingness to work on your marriage is the primary requirement. Both spouses are required to attend the program.
How can we be sure our privacy is protected?
Privacy is of aramount importance for us. Our attending couples' names are not shared with any organizations, parties, or individuals outside the Tikkun HaBriet Community for any reason whatsoever. In fact, only your first name will be used throughout the weekend. Sharing anything more than this will be completely up to you.
Will I be required to discuss my marriage or personal problems in front of other people?
No, personal sharing is not required or expected. The program is not a retreat or counseling environment. There are no group dynamics or group discussions on the weekend. The entire experience is between you and your spouse. The focus is not on the details of your marriage, but rather to get you and your spouse communicating again in a meaningful way to help you heal and rediscover the love you once shared in a way that can be sustained.
What if my spouse says, “I don’t love you anymore”?
Most people who divorce their spouse would say “I just don’t love him or her anymore.” They think this means that love has ended. What it really means is that the romantic version of love that attracted the two of you to each other in the beginning has ended.
The romance stage of almost every marriage relationship will end at some point as the relationship grows and transitions. If they are being honest, people in wonderful marriages will admit that they just don’t live in romantic bliss forever, but rather go through hot and cold periods during the course of the relationship.
In strong marriages, the romance stage of the marriage transitions to a more mature, deeper type of love. Some couples are able to do this naturally, but most struggle with disillusionment and sometimes are in the misery for far too long before seeking help.
Couples come to the Tikkun HaBriet program specifically for a tune up or because they have been unable to transition to this mature, deeper type of love. A very specific form of communication is taught in the program that will help you make that transition, even if things seem difficult or broken.
I am no longer in love with my spouse. How can this be overcome?
This is extremely common for one spouse to be more disillusioned with the marriage than the other. You may be confident that issue will be thoroughly addressed through our Tikkun Program.
How do you know Tikkun HaBriet will improve my marriage?
Only the two of you can improve your marriage. Tikkun HaBriet will teach you a set of skills that, if used properly, will help you get on the right track. We ask that you show up with the mindset that you want to work on your relationship. You will need to put forth the effort, and leave the past in the past as you focus on the future.
What we do know is that attending the Tikkun HaBriet is very effective for improving marriages. Our Tikkun Program, which is based on similar faith-based program, more than three out of four couples attending this program are still married at the five-year mark and are enjoying a more fulfilling and loving relationship. This includes couples that were divorced, separated, and had extremely challenging circumstances.
Do you offer childcare services during the Tikkun HaBriet Weekend?
We do not provide childcare services for our programs at this time. However, if there is enough interest for a partucular event, we are open to discussing it.
Will Marriage Counselors be available at any of the Tikkun HaBriet events?
We do not provide professional counselors in the Tikkun HaBriet Program. If you believe you need to consult a professional for your issues we encourage you to do so. Many marriage counselors may suggest Tikkun HaBriet as part of the counseling process.
Is there a dress code for the Tikkun HaBriet programs?
Please dress comfortably and casually. We want you to feel comfortable so you can focus on nurturing your marriage. However, keep in mind that some venues may get chilly or warm depending when the air conditioning or Heating is on. You may want to bring a sweater, pullover, or light jacket. That said, we do ask that couples refrain from wearing any clothing that may be a distraction to other individuals. This includes any clothing that promotes specific causes or political beliefs.
We’re still not sure about this Tikkun HaBriet programs. We’d like to talk with a real person. Is there anyone we can speak with?
Please call 847-290-1880. If you get our voicemail please leave a brief message and how to contact you. Our email is info@TikkunHaBriet.org. In the mean time, you can fill out a contact form.
English is not my primary language. Will that be a problem during the Tikkun HaBriet Weekend?
If you can read an English newspaper or watch a news show on TV, and understand most of it, you should be fine. Do not worry about your speaking ability; if your spouse can understand what you are saying, you will be fine.
My spouse and I are observant Jews. Will there be any religious services available during the Tikkun Program's Weekend Retreat?
There will be a Kabbalat Shabbat on the Friday evening before the program beins. There will be a Havdalah service as part of the closing on Sunday afternoon. All couples are invited to participate in these religious services, though attendance is optional. Please be aware that writing will be expected during the Sabbath and kosher meals can be ordered with advanced notice at an additional cost. All meals will be served Kosher style but not from a Kosher kitchen. Whatever your personal faith or level of observance, you will be welcomed and embraced; and any religious activities are voluntary.
My spouse or I are NOT observant or spiritual at all. We have no interest in the religious services or doctrine. Should we still come to a weekend if our marriage is in trouble?
Yes, you are welcome to the Tikkun HaBriet community. This is not a problem at all. The presence of a Rabbi and some references to Jewish text and tradition are involved. You will not be solicited or expected to do anything religious that you are not comfortable with. The services are voluntary, and do not affect the flow of the program at all. It is very common for some couples not to attend the services. Some couples do find they are open to the spiritual dimension of the program once they arrive, and others do not.
One of us cannot forgive the other for what has happened. It was just too much.
You will discover by attending our Tikkun Program that there is nothing you cannot come back from, as long as both spouses are willing to put in the effort. You may hear stories from presenting couples that are far worse than your own, and yet they reconciled. These couples will help you understand that, in fact, it will never be the same. In fact, it can be better than it ever has been! There are Four Stages of Marriage: Romance, Disillusionment, Misery and Awakening. Many couples that have attended the Tikkun HaBriet program actually grow into a new, far better place.
What if it doesn’t work?
The Tikkun HaBriet program can work for you if both of you give it your all and truly take what you learn to heart. However, the reality is that this is not always the case. Sometimes one spouse simply cannot get past their own pain for a myriad of reasons. Even in those cases where it does not work out, often both spouses come out of the program better people with new tools and understanding to carry forward into the rest of their lives, especially the level of communication required if children are involved. Tikkun HaBriet is a program of self-discovery and the tools learned can apply to many areas of your life.
We did a Marriage Encounter Weekend years ago, and that didn’t help. How is this different than the Tikkun Programs's weekend retreat?
This is a very common question. Marriage Encounter is a wonderful program, but it is designed to make good marriages better. If you did a Marriage Encounter weekend, you will find some similarities in Tikkun HaBriet. Tikkun HaBriet takes some of the Marriage Encounter concepts, and builds on them extensively with a special focus on moving a marriage from a refresher course, nurturing enrinchment, disillusionment or misery to rediscovering the love you have for each other.
Why should we choose the Tikkun HaBriet program?
Because you have nothing to lose, and everything to gain. A happy and strong marriage builds vibrant and successful families. And for those considering divorce, please know that Tikkun HaBriet is much more affordable than total expenses of court costs, divorce attorneys, alimony, child support, and separate lives.
What if we cannot afford the full price of the program
We can arrange a payment plan. Also there may be scholarship funds available. Contact us at info@Tikkun HaBriet.org or at 847-290-1880.