Where are you among the 4 Stages of Marriage? Where would you like to be?
Romance Everything is perfect!
Most of us are familiar with the first Stage- Romance and recognize this special time of falling in love with each other and the intense feelings develop.. Life was so wonderful we can not stand to live without the other. Our thoughts often turn to the other when we are not with them. We are in love and know that this the person we wanted to be with the rest of our life.
Little differences between us are cute and endearing, and all that mattered is being together. No matter how much we saw other couples going through struggles, we believed that could never be us. They did not have what we have as a couple. Life is going to be wonderful, and everything is perfect. We know these intense feelings of love will remain with us forever.
Disillusionment or simply "in a rough patch"
At some point, those little differences that at first were endearing in our spouse, start to annoy us. We begin to feel bothered by the way our spouse is different from ourselves. We do not always agree in our plans, expectations and ideas. The self-talk in the back of our mind starts wondering why our spouse is not be more like us.
During the Disillusionment Stage, we start to realize that our spouse is not the perfect person that we had envisioned him or her to be. Sometimes, especially if our Romance Stage had been particularly intense, we struggle or just see ourselves going through a rough patch. Love can be strained and tested.
We realize that the expectations we had of the perfect marriage are not going to happen. For some, this realization is too heart wrenching and the marriage does not continue. Many couples simply accept this as the status quo and allow these frustrations to continue to build up over time.
If you are here in this 2nd stage, there is hope and help to skip the next stage entirely. Tikkun HaBriet is here for you. Why wait any longer or for things to get harder to manage?
Misery (actually, it really doesn't love company)
Many people stick with and try to work through their problems during Disillusionment. They seek the counsel of family, friends, clergy, and marriage or family counselors. Some of these people find the key they are looking for from these resources.
Many others continue to struggle and accept their experience as normal and natural. Their troubles worsen. Sometimes quickly, but most often gradually over time, the pain of a struggling marriage continues to increase. It can be a gradual growing apart or constant disagreement and fighting. Often the marriage deteriorates more deeply due to drug, alcohol or other addictions. Sometimes an infidelity, such as an online relationship, pornography addiction, or an affair can cause severe anguish and grief.
If you are here in this 3rd stage, there is hope and help with Tikkun HaBriet. Why not take an opportunity to explore new strategies to move past this struggle to rediscovery of your love, trust and forgiveness to a renewed commitment to the covenant of your marriage..
NOTE TO SELF: If the couple ends the marriage at this point and remarry other partners, they are significantly more likely to repeat the same mistakes, and experience the effects of yet another divorce with their next spouse.
Awakening A new normal- better than before
Most people whose marriages end in divorce are not bad people. Rather, they are often people who never learned the proper tools for a happy marriage. This is where Tikkun HaBriet can help.
Teams of couples who have experienced all four Stages of Marriage present the Tikkun HaBriet program. Instead of giving up, they found solutions. In Tikkun HaBriet, they learned the tools they needed to improve their communication so that they may live in a happy and harmonious marriage. They learned that marriage does not follow the Romance and
“Happily Ever After” formula portrayed in literature and media. Rather, they find that there are certain learnable skills, attitudes and tools that they can use to deal with the inevitable problems of the real world and the difficult struggles that a marriage can face.
These skills, attitudes and tools give them what they need to move into the next Stage - Awakened Joy. Learning to have a relationship with unconditional acceptance and to feel valued for who you are is a mark of being in this stage of Awakening. The ability to be able to share yourself and be appreciated for being yourself is a joyful feeling. Awakened Joy changes the way you live together, speak to each other, and interact with each other on a daily basis. It is a continued peace that comes from open and honest communication. It is the realization that while love is not perfect, just as we are not perfect, that it is in fact resilient and your relationship can be stronger than ever.
Whether you are in the Disillusionment Stage, grieving the loss of that magical Romance, or if you have moved firmly into the Misery Stage, Tikkun HaBriet can give you the marriage help you need to rebuild your marriage. ard to see that there is hope and that change is possible.
If you are in the stages of disillusionment or misery
OR if you know someone who is-
Who can you call?
You will never know until you try. Call 847-290-1880 or send an email to the caring folks at Tikkun HaBriet at info@TikkunHaBriet.org. Ask them any of those tough questions that keep nagging at you in the back of your mind.
The couple answering the phone or responding to your email are people just like you who have been there and are working through to the fourth Stage- Awakening. They will be able to relate to your feelings of hopelessness, frustration, and loss. They will do their best to give you the answers you need about this program.
Be assured that all contacts are held in the strictest confidence.