Discussing the Program Options with Your Spouse

A willingness and desire by both of you to improve the marriage is preferred, as participation of both is required for the Tikkun HaBriet Programs. Many times, one spouse will see the need for improving the marriage, while the other may think that the marriage is fine or acceptable. There are several obvious signs that a marriage may be headed for trouble or is in a danger zone. These include, but are certainly not limited to:

  • Do you see your relationship in a rut or stuck in a holding pattern?

  • Have you hit a rough patch due to health or financial troubles?

  • Are there unresolved or unspoken topics of concern?

  • Is there a tone of bickering or banter between you about everyday stuff?

  • Is your relationship experiences coldness or lack of intimacy.

  • Is there a sense of frustration, hurt, or anger by one or both spouses.

  • Do either of  you feel alone or distant from the other. 

  • Do either of you feel anxious or uncertain about the marriage relationship.

  • Are either of you feeling disillusioned or bored in the marriage.

  • Is there a lack of time or desire to communicate by one or both spouses.

  • Are either of you unable to see how to change the situation.

  • Has an infidelity of any kind caused a crisis in the marriage.

  • Is one or both spouses  considering divorce or separation.

In other instances, perhaps the distance in the marriage has occurred over time and has been a gradual growing apart. Perhaps, when there is not an immediate crisis, such as an infidelity or sudden threat of divorce, one spouse may not see the need for attending. We offer a brief series of questions to assist in determining if any of the Tikkun HaBriet programs are for you.

Here are several areas of discussion you may consider having with your spouse to assist in making the decision to participate in the Tikkun HaBriet Programs.

Suggested Tips:

  • Take on the conversation, as an open discussion, even if it is a difficult one.

  • Convey to your spouse that though you have invested a lot of time and energy into the relationship already, you know it can be better.

  • Gently communicate your feelings (I feeling frustrated and overwhelmed when we are not getting along. How you’re feeling?”) and put it all on the table. Sometimes, all it takes is to start that conversation.

  • Often a spouse is afraid or embarrassed at the concept of marriage counseling, or therapy. Let them know that Tikkun HaBriet is very different. They will not be discussing any personal issues with anyone else. You will not be asked to share ANY personal information during the retreat part of the weekend. Sharing is always a choice during Workshop and CORE parts of the program. You will never be asked to disclose any of the details of your marriage you choose to keep between you and your spouse.

  • This is all about the two of you building a better relationship through better communication and understanding of one another.

  • Together, you and your spouse can look over the website and consider how your marriage will benefit from  participating in Tikkun HaBriet.

  • Finally, a hesitant spouse may respond to one simple question: "Is the hope of nurturing , enriching and strengthing our marriage worth investing in a weekend and a series of workshops?"

If you or your spouse have additional questions or concerns about whether or not the Tikkun HaBriet Program can help you, please call us at 1-847-290-1880.

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©2020 Tikkun HaBriet. All Rights Reserved. 

Tikkun HaBriet is a 501(c)(3) Organization


Tikkun HaBriet is not a marriage counseling service or program. Rather, we are designed as a supplement to the mental health professionals’ work. We see ourselves as a proactive approach to healthier relationships.   Our presenters and facilitators are not trained counselors or therapists, but volunteer couples sharing their personal experiences of marital struggles and the tools they used to repair their marriages. Tikkun HaBriet is a peer to peer support program and a community of like-minded couples who want to experience growth and enrichment in their relationships.. 

The buoy in the Tiikkun HaBriet logo is used with permission  from Retrouvaille International