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Discussing Signing Up With Your Spouse

A willingness and desire by both of you to improve the marriage is preferred, as participation of both is required for the Tikkun HaBriet experience.

 

Many times, one spouse will see the need for improving the marriage, while the other may think that the marriage is fine or acceptable.

 

There are several obvious signs that a marriage may be benefit from a proactive response to stay on track. Here are some questions you can pick from to open your conversation about wanting to commit more time to your marriage.

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  • Take on the conversation, as an open discussion, even if it is a difficult one.

  • Convey to your spouse that though you have invested a lot of time and energy into the relationship already, you know it can be better.

  • Gently communicate your feelings (I feeling frustrated and overwhelmed when we are not getting along. How you’re feeling?”) and put it all on the table. Sometimes, all it takes is to start that conversation.

  • Often a spouse is afraid or embarrassed at the concept of marriage counseling, or therapy. Let them know that Tikkun HaBriet is very different. They will not be discussing any personal issues with anyone else. You will not be asked to share ANY personal information during the retreat part of the weekend. Sharing is always a choice during Workshop and CORE parts of the program. You will never be asked to disclose any of the details of your marriage you choose to keep between you and your spouse.

  • This is all about the two of you building a better relationship through better communication and understanding of one another.

  • Together, you and your spouse can look over the website and consider how your marriage will benefit from  participating in Tikkun HaBriet.

  • Finally, a hesitant spouse may respond to one simple question: "Is the hope of nurturing , enriching and strengthens our marriage worth investing in?"

IF THERE IS ANY RESISTANCE, HERE ARE SOME QUESTIONS TO CHOOSE FROM TO ADD TO YOUR DISCUSSION

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In other instances, perhaps the distance in the marriage has occurred over time and has been a gradual growing apart. Perhaps, when there is not an immediate crisis, one spouse may not see the need for attending. We offer a brief series of questions to assist in determining if any of the Tikkun HaBriet programs are for you.

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Here are several areas of discussion you may consider having with your spouse to assist in making the decision to participate in a Tikkun HaBriet .experience to nurture and grow your relationship and move it forward.

  • Do you see your relationship in a rut or stuck in a holding pattern?

  • Have your experienced too much unplanned togetherness with the pandemic?

  • Have you hit a rough patch due to health or financial troubles?

  • Are there unresolved or unspoken topics of concern?

  • Is there a tone of bickering or banter about everyday stuff?

  • Is your relationship experiencing coldness or lack of intimacy?

  • Is there a sense of frustration, hurt, or anger by either spouse?

  • Do either of  you feel alone or distant from the other? 

  • Do either of you feel uncertain about where the marriage relationship is going?.

  • Are either of you feeling bored in the marriage?

  • Are either of you unable to see how to change the situation?

If you or your spouse have additional questions or concerns about whether or not the Tikkun HaBriet Program can help you, please call us at 1-847-290-1880.

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